The wettest May I can ever remember has just given way to June which looks set to be as wet as the preceding month. On the plus side the days are starting to become longer if not much warmer. All attempts to work in the garden have sadly gone the same way as my keep fit campaign and things can only get better, surely?

Mums birthday is only a couple of weeks away and my big brother is coming along to stay at my house for a couple of days. Also coming along is the driver who promises to fill me in on the events of the last 6 months. It’s hard to believe but it’s that long since I last saw him. The traveller is now back from China and is coming along this Friday to let me know how the trip went and what if any opportunities there are over there. I also managed to speak to the Tiler and he told me it was now coming to the Ozzy Autumn. Temperatures were starting to dip and it was down to the low 20’s and it was “freezing”. He and his family have acclimatised very quickly. He was telling the natives over there that in the UK if it got into the high teens people would be wearing shorts and no one believed him. If any of them are reading this I can assure you that it’s not a wind up, it really is true!

By now my pond should be full of small frogs and all ready to declare war on the slugs and snails that are devastating my flowers and fruit crops. At one point there were lots of tadpoles but they seem to have disappeared. Maybe the slugs and snails have eaten the tadpoles? Unless I can see lots of frogs within a week or two I am going to drain the pond and clean it out. So much for bio diversity and using organic methods of pest control, it’s back to the chemicals and slug pellets.

I often wonder if the pace of life will ever slow down long enough for me to actually enjoy it. Commander Riker and me were in a shop the other day buying sandwiches for our lunch and at the head of the check out queue were two cute little old ladies. Neither of them seemed to have a care in the world as they stopped to pass the time of day with the check out assistant discussing family and friends and then spending ages trying to root out change from handbags to pay for their purchases. Riker and I silently fumed in the middle of a long queue as our lunch break was being wasted away. I have nothing at all against the little old dears, indeed I have an interesting fossil in the shape of my mum to contend with at home, but…… my time is precious and I don’t want to spend it in a shopping queue. This made me think why don’t they have set times at which slow people are allowed into shops? They can spend as much of their allotted time passing the day by and browsing stopping to chat with whoever they want. Then the rest of us who have so little time can avoid the shops at certain periods and enjoy being able to run in and out with whatever we have bought in a matter of minutes.

My mum never puts anything away in the same place twice. It’s an infuriating little habit she has picked up over the years but she receives an enormous amount of pleasure trying to find things. Just trying to find a sharp knife is an adventure for her and she has all the time in which to spend finding it. Indeed it makes her day go along quite well. The impact this has on me is that much of my free time is spent needlessly trying to find things I need in a hurry. I read only recently that a store in Germany has opened up and it is for the sole and exclusive use of the elderly. They can spend as much time in there as they want with out being hassled by young mums with kids and pushchairs and men in hurry like me. I hope they open a branch up around here soon because one day at some point in time, when I have no need to rush around, I will want to shop in a place like that

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