It’s been a fairly hectic past two weeks, starting off with a Halloween party and barbecue in the garden. This was fairly well attended with all the usual suspects, Bean Counter, The Beast, now known as The Animal due to the discovery of certain unpleasant connotations associated with that name, Sophia Loren and her mum and Roger Moor. Bowls of chilli, stew and a stream of burgers were rustled up by Commander Riker and Ted Magnum to feed the hordes. The photographs would have been brilliant save for the smoke from the fire pit and barby.

Fast forward a few days and it appeared as though the world was on tenterhooks awaiting the outcome of the most powerful man in the world, the incoming president of America. He is the first black man to become the new resident in chief of the Whitehouse, Barrack Oboma. This was followed the next evening by our very own tradition of Bonfire night in which we Brits celebrate the failed attempt to blow up the houses of parliament in 1605. Who knows what the world would have looked like if Guy Fawkes and his co-conspirators had of succeeded. However the Ghastanbury posse celebrated in style with an enormous bonfire and enough fireworks and explosives to start a small war in Central America and of course heaps of food and the odd beer or two. Congratulations to RM and his other half for a fantastic spread.

The Driver came to see me on Saturday gone and he stayed for a couple of nights while we put the world to rights. That brings me up to today which as we all know is the anniversary of the end of the Great War. There are only three men left alive in the UK that fought in that terrible conflict. Who knows how much longer we will be fortunate enough to have their company as living reminders of mans inhumanity to man and the ultimate triumph of good over evil?

Whilst watching the commemorations on TV I started thinking about world events today and the similarities with 96 years ago, two years before the start of World War 1. Europe was in the grip of a financial meltdown with right wing parties across Europe vying for power and the arms race that ensued allowing countries to take part in the war. It is not hard to see the comparisons with the 1930’s. Financial meltdown, particularly bad in Germany due to the terms of the Versai treaty, the rise of the far right in Europe, Franco, Hitler, Mussolini and mass production of ordnance and armaments in Germany.

Now let us stop for a moment and look at early years of the 21^st century. Worlwide financial meltdown, an insurgence of the far right in Europe and whilst not yet a threat they are certainly growing. The comparisons are not favourable, but, with all we have learned from the last 100 years, they would not do it again would they?

Château Ghastanbury has at times resembled grand central station with so many people arriving and phoning over the last few weeks. I am not grumbling mind but it is one of the reasons for so few blog entries of late. As usual many things have got my goat recently, not least the fact that ticket touts inflate the prices of tickets required by Joe Public. For example, last week tickets for the ACDC Black Ice Tour went on sale at 9am. By 9-20am the box office for the venues had sold out and only promotion companies had any for sale at all. My usual port of call, “master of tickets” (made up name naturally) was selling tickets with a face value of £40 for almost £180 each and merely one hour after being on sale.

This represents an absolutely monstrous profit but worse still is the fact that so many vendors had managed to obtain tickets at short notice at the expense of Joe Public. When will tickets be sold to the people that actually want to buy them and isn’t it about time that concert tickets, like airline tickets had to be purchased with some form of identity and that identity shown when entering the arena? Such a simple action would at a stroke stop profiteers from buying tickets they have no intention of using to sell on ebay or to unscrupulous touts who wish to make an obscene profit from honest fans. I have no problem with people making a profit from a commodity that supply far outstrips demand for but touts and tickets agencies are up there with solicitors and estate agents and I suppose these day’s bankers. Vultures with a human face!

There is almost a happy ending; I managed to acquire tickets in the end but not for any venue in this country. With tickets for the MEN going for £180 each it was cheaper to buy tickets for Paris with a night’s accommodation thrown in. The cost of the tickets for Paris? £179 each. It has taken some time to warm to the new Album from ACDC with the tour of  the same name but I am getting there. There is not one track that leaps out and grabs you with the same ferocity that “Whole lotta Rosie” did nor “Back in black” to name a few but the whole album is starting to grow on me. By the day of the concert I expect to know them word perfect.

Summer has finally bowed out and the clocks have gone back bringing short days and long nights. Sadly it has been accompanied by a dramatic drop in temperatures and for the first time in what seems like ages I have had to switch on my central heating. Naturally such actions have had me turning green with envy at the thought of friends far away in sunnier climes. Friends of over 20 years standing have recently moved to Spain to run a coffe bar in Camposol Spain. It is called the Costa Café and Tearoom and naturally it based in Camposol on the east cost of Southern Spain. As soon as I obtain more details I will post them here for any one who wants to pop in and try the menu. I wish them all the best and if you are in the area and passing, pop in and let the hard working staff behind the counter know Smokehouse sent you. The Traveller is now working in Oz and from the sounds of it may well obtain an extended work permit and perhaps a living permit. Will I ever see him again? Who knows but if our positions were reversed I would not be coming back!

The big news is that I am to become a great uncle. Well not exactly, but Little Miss Sunshine’s daughter is pregnant and as I am an honorary uncle to the daughter it follows I would a great uncle to granddaughter. I wish both mother and daughter the very best and all that they would wish for themselves. It never ceases to amaze me how many nephews and nieces I have. I seem to be the black sheep of the family, the one who is spoken about in whispered voices and never in front of the children! My extended family grows by the day.

Desperate times require desperate measures and the current economic situation has thrown what plans I had into complete disarray, so much so that I have taken to looking at alternative lifestyles and accommodation. With this in mind I have booked a short stay in a Yurt some time in the summer months of 2009. As well as being a break it will give me a chance to see if these dwellings live up to the reputation of the Mongols as being somewhere you can live in for years, completely waterproof and capable of withstanding temperatures of minus 35c whilst having a life span of 20 years or more.  In short a glamorous tent which has coined the phrase Glamping.

Roger Moor and his family are back from a long well deserved weekend break. During the time RM was away it was left to me to look after his goldfish. While I was feeding the little fella his ant eggs, I started to think about how this guy spent his time. I mean can’t be that exciting swimming around the same old bowl everyday and going nowhere can it? So in order to brighten up his day I took him outside and let him loose in my garden pond. Having a bigger stage in which to strut his stuff, certainly suited him and within minutes he was swimming around like a dolphin in the ocean.

A bit later I put him back in his bowl and brought him indoors and placed the bowl in front of the TV screen. Bean Counter poured a large gin into his bowl and I set up what I thought would be a really interesting film for him. Naturally it was Jaws. What could be better than relaxing on a Saturday night with a stiff drink and watching a blockbuster film? Then after the film was finished I offered him a slap up meal with a choice of a tin of sardines, a tin of salmon and some tinned shrimps. By now the little guy was feeling tired so we took him back into RM’s house and BC read him a bedtime story. What could be more fitting after his hectic day than listening to a chapter or two of Moby Dick?

The Traveller texted me on Saturday morning to say he has finally arrived in sunny Malaysia and is set to venture to Australia in the very near future. I wish him well, it would appear I have more friends and relatives over there than I do at home! The weather is finally turning and the leaves are falling off the trees. What has been good though is the fine weather we have had over the last couple of weeks. Sunday gone was an exceptional day and I used it to take Rhonda and BC for a spin. It’s just a pity that the good weather is five months late! Sunday evening came and we ventured to see The Beast and we ended up having a small bonfire in his garden. All in all it has been a great weekend, one that I won’t forget in a hurry and I am sure that the fish wont either. After all even fish have feelings.

It is with some relief that I can misquote Mark Twain and say, “rumours of my demise have been greatly exaggerated”. It is true I was struck down by the dreaded lurgy (manflu) and confined to bed for a week shortly after my last post. However, since my recovery a week later I have been busy busy busy. A long weekend to the Isle of Wight accompanied by Bean Counter aided my recuperation. The IOW is another part of the British Isles that I can now cross of my list of places to visit. It is for me at least, a spectacular place to go. It is quiet, peaceful and the shoreline and scenery are fantastic. The weekend passed away all to soon.

Upon my return I decided to do something that has needed doing for many years. I ripped down my old back fence and gate replaced it with double gates and some new fencing. Sadly the fencing that divides my property from the home of Roger Moor is a joint fence and as soon as I removed the old rotting supports his fence and back gate literally fell over. With the help of The Beast and RM new concrete support posts and fencing were soon in place and after several coats of exterior wood paint both houses now look as though they have had a major make over. The best news is that I can take Rhonda out quite easily as when both gates are open the gap is now 5 feet and not 34 inches and Rhonda is 37 inches wide. I expect the Tiler will be quite pleased with the result when he sees the photos.

The economy has come crashing down and the news is almost exclusively full of reports that yet another bank somewhere around the world has gone into liquidation. This has left many savers worrying if they will have access to the money in these accounts. In the case of the Icelandic banks it is really serious. The assets of the country are worth less than the value of the money they owe. It is the first time that I have ever heard of a country going bankrupt. This news is not confined to any one country, continent or hemisphere and more than a few texts were exchanged in the early hours of this week between The Printer and me. Australia it seems is also in dire straits demonstrating how truly global this economic crisis is.

At least on person has managed to escape from it all and the Traveller departed for Indonesia, (it may actually be Malaysia but it has an sia at the end of it) yesterday to seek out dusky maidens and a better way of life. I hope it all comes off for him and I expect to see him briefly sometime in January before he departs for good and sets up home in the southern hemisphere. With so many people departing for sunnier or brighter economic climes it is a wonder that there is anyone left in the UK. At least Genghis and me will be here for another two years.

Genghis has taken to terrorising the rabbits in Ogri and Bodiceas’ garden. Each morning he goes to the rabbit hutch and tries to stick his paw through the wire grate. I personally believe he is merely trying to say hello and stroke the rabbits but other people tell me he has a hungry look on his face while he attempts this. Anyway he will be 12 months old in a few weeks and sadly it will be time to take him to the vets for THAT op. The mere thought of it makes my eyes water! At any rate it is nice to be back and posting again.

It should have been a normal day, I arrived home from work just like any other, fed the cat and chilled out. At around 6pm Roger Moor knocked and we sat talking and drinking tea until he said do you fancy a cider? I think I said yes before he finished his sentence and so he trotted off and duly arrived back with 2 cans of Blackthorn dry cider. I opened one can and poured it into two glasses and then I said do you fancy a Bulmers? So we opened that one and poured it into two glasses. The difference between the two drinks was amazing. The Bulmer’s was fantastic and by comparison the Dry Blackthorn was disgusting. It was then we decided to do some taste testing.

We set off to the local Tescos and arrived back at Château Ghastanbury with 10 different types of cider and decided to record our comments about each one. So we sat down watching Nigella Lawson give us tips on cooking and drooled while faced with 12 different types of cider.

Here is our written commentary on those we tested.

1)    Bulmer’s original, 4.5%. Smelt wonderful, sweet taste very appley would buy again.

2)    Dry Blackthorn 5.5%. Smelt like gas mains, very sour chemically taste would not buy again.

3)    Frome valley 6% No chemical smell, flat, no alcoholic aftertaste. Refreshing on the palate, appley aftertaste. Very smooth but flat and expensive. Would not buy again

4)    Savanna 5.5% South African cider with a very fizzy head and a good nose. Not unpleasant but no cider taste and very sugary. Would not buy again.

It has to be noted that at this point our descriptions were becoming more flowery and we slipped effortlessly into Jilly Goulden mode.

5)    Aspinalls 7% English apples but from a French family based in Suffolk. Smelt of pears with almost a pear taste (perhaps it was Perry and labelled incorrectly?) Very smooth with a fizz that disappeared rapidly. Barrel matured which you could taste and almost no CO2. We reckoned it was best served at room temperature because it almost tasted like a wine. We would possibly buy this one again.

6)    Tesco’s finest oak conditioned.6.6% Light appley smell, sharp and very dry. Definitely oak conditioned. ( we had to spit the splinters out) This was more of a dining cider and best drank with food

7)    Henry Westons special vintage reserve 8.5% Nose was very appley with over tones of wood, flat but smooth and strong. Distinct appley aftertaste. We would both buy this again.

NB by now we had really got into the swing of things and were starting to take this really seriously with as much verve and endeavour as the scientists at the particle collider in Cern

Oakley’s original 4.5% Nose was very appley with a hint of chemicals. Nice colour and a very nice taste that was sweet with no unpleasant aftertaste. Not too gassy and 2^nd so far to the Bulmer’s. We would definitely buy this one again

9) Gaymers 4.5% A very appley nose, which was sweet to taste and not too gassy. Tasted of apples and it was nectar in a glass. Almost as good as Bulmer’s. Would definitely buy again

10) Thatcher’s vintage 7.4% Nose was very appley. Medium dry and very smooth with no horrible aftertaste. Not too gassy and neither sweet nor bitter. We would buy this again.

NB After can no 10 each we were becoming completely shitfaced and having a wonderful time.

11) Thatchers katy 7.4%. Wonderful and we are too pissed to pass any criticism save for my comment of I could live on this stuff and RM’s comment of sex in a glass without having to stimulate a clit for 30 minutes. Would definitely buy this again.

12) Merrydown vintage 7.5% Nose very appley with a chemical taste. RM said it had smelt like Blackthorns but tasted closer to the Bulmer’s. We would both buy this again but only under duress. In fact this one divided the two of us so much we each had another can to confirm our original judgement on it however we still failed to agree.

With our entire stock depleted, I realised I had lost the pen and could not be bothered scrabbling about on the floor to find it again. RM staggered home and I crawled to bed. In hindsight we have come to realise that the strength of cider has no bearing upon its’ taste and while for most people this was just an excuse for a piss up to us it was all in the interest of science.

I have often criticised the big city over the water for its’ shortcomings and the bad press it often receives, mainly but not always of its’ own making. However after being given the accolade of European city of culture, it has pulled out all the stops in an effort to show the world it is a modern and vibrant city. None more so than the latest stunt which was for me at least, truly memorable. A giant spider arrived unannounced in the city centre some time last week and hung from the side of one of the buildings by Lime Street Station.

Bean Counter, the Traveller and myself went along to see it on Saturday gone. I have to say it was a masterpiece of engineering and spectacle. Despite having to wait for hours and being crushed by the hordes it was well and truly worth going to see. In fact it was so good we went again on Sunday to bid it farewell. The Traveller dropped us off at the Birkenhead Tunnel entrance on the Liverpool side on his way home from yet another drunken weekend that has become the hallmark of many of his visits.

We arrived at the spot we had chosen at around 5-30PM and we waited. We were still waiting at 6-30pm and we waited some more until 7-30pm and then we waited again. By this time the crowd were getting restless as spots to view the creature were becoming all too scarce and some of the kids were restless. Shouts of “Mum, when’s it coming, and I want to go the toilet” rang around the little haven BC and myself had chosen. At 8-30 ish the band that preceded the spider appeared in the distance and we knew it would not be long before it took its’ final bow.

When it finally appeared after a long tour through the city streets that must have been every coppers nightmare, a huge cheer went up from amongst the 250,000 plus people that had gathered there. There were fireworks, pyrotechnics, Water displays a snowstorm and plus the orchestra that had assembled to provide the almost eerie music that accompanied its’ tour of the city. BC and myself left at 10pm which had meant we had been standing in the same spot for some 5 hours and my legs were aching, but I felt that it had all been worth it.

Words cannot do the creature justice. I can only hope that the photographs in the Gallery will make up for my lack of writing skills. The city could have put on a concert or spectacular laser show but that has all been done before. I have never seen anything like this and it made the whole event of European Capital of Culture stand out from anything I have ever seen before. It is not often I praise the big city but I applaud this event and I will never forget the spectacle. It has certainly cured my Arachnophobia.

Friday 05^th September and the heavens opened. I have never seen as much rain in one day. I arrived home from work to be greeted by the Traveller as he had come to stay for the weekend and he had brought the bad weather with him! Within an hour I received a text from Roger Moor who told me to look outside my back door. TT and me gingerly opened the back door to see a lake where I used to have a garden. There was stuff floating on it as the drains had merely given up under the surge of water and there was nowhere for the stuff to go.

As RM arrived across the small river that was once my driveway; all three of us stared out at the darkening skies and the rising water and unanimously decided we needed inspiration and divine intervention. I donned wellies and waded out to the beer shed for the inspiration and we waited for the divine intervention. The divine intervention was taking its’ time arriving and so after much inspiration RM and me decided to try and brush as much water into the road as we could. I took to ramming sticks into the drains to see if I could reduce any blockages which did no good at all.

After a full case of inspiration, divine intervention duly arrived and not a moment too soon. The water was almost to the top of the outside shed floor when one of the drains gurgled, belched and then decided to start taking water. RM and me shoved water towards the drain as fast as we could while TT opened beers for us at an alarming rate. By the time the water was at a safe level the three of us were pissed, well I was at least and the other two were not far behind.

Beancounter arrived almost as soon as the driveway was cleared and while she did not need water wings to get into the house, events had started to go downhill fast. Two cases of inspiration rapidly disappeared and the spirits came out to keep our spirits up. The radiator was full of wet socks the floor was covered in mud and the chip pan was heating up nicely. It wasn’t exactly the Dunkirk spirit but it showed you can have an eventful evening with wet socks and good friends

At long last my hard drive has been replaced and although I have still to replace much of the stuff that has been lost, I can now attempt to catch up on some of the postings I should have made weeks ago. With this in mind here are the photos of Teechs’ leaving do in August. Sorry for the delay.

As usual things have been hectic over the last few weeks. The Driver came to stay with me for a weekend, I had not realised it had been last January since we had met up last. However we tried to make up for lost time and managed to get through enough beer and gossip to make up for it.. We have promised to try and keep in touch more often and it is to be hoped that we will meet up before Xmas.

Teech has gone to Dubai but not before we sprang a “surprise” leaving do for him at Château Ghastanbury.  All the usual suspects were there including Commander Riker, Miss Décolletage, The Revellers, Ted Magnum, Big Bad Brad, and of course Beancounter. As is customary, we wished him well as the evening descended into drunken mayhem and spilled out of the house and into the grounds were a bonfire was duly lit. Many photos have been taken but due to the failure of my home computer I am unable to upload them at this moment.

A few days later and BC and me are having a farewell meal with her youngest, Johan the Destroyer, his girlfriend and his brother in a well-known Liverpool restaurant. A trip to the Tequila bars and Vodka shot bars completed an evening of mirth and merriment and we arrived back at BC’s house in the early hours. JTD left for army duty en route to Cyprus a few days ago.

That brings us to Saturday gone, and Tedstock. A separate post including photos will be made in the Barbie section along with some of the recipes we used for the day. Tedstock marks the end of the summer and barby season as far as I am concerned and the next big event will be Halloween. Until then the nights are getting longer as summer peters out and autumn slowly makes its entrance. Some of the flowers in the garden are well past it and the record-breaking rainfall we have had this year has meant that some of the crops I planted have met with dismal failure. My tomatoes are still green due to a lack of sunlight and the slugs have eaten almost all of the courgettes and cucumbers.

Like Teech and JTD summer is leaving, I hope it’s a case of Au Revoir and not farewell.

It has been a strange weekend. The weather as usual has been awful.  Spirits have been low all around and most people are in awe of the events unfolding around us, mainly the credit crunch and now the news that Russia has invaded Georgia. Most of this has not been overshadowed by the Olympics in China which to be honest has not held my attention. Graphics in instead of real fireworks and a young girl who mimed to some one else’s voice because the originator of the voice was not deemed photogenic enough. Yes it is a shambles and would have been a master piece of PR if they had not been caught out!

Anyway Bean Counter and I decide to take Rhonda out for a spin on Sunday evening and watch the sun go down on the local shore line. This would have been a triumph if it had not been for the low lying cloud that hid any rays of sunshine that might have been in the offing. Anyway I bumped into a friend or at least some I have known for 20 years or more and they told me they are going away to Spain. Yet again it seems as though every one else but me is moving away. I wished them well and I sincerely hope that they make it. As for me well I am stuck here for another year at least or until the credit crunch is over.

It is strange but the crunch that started in America by people that I have never met and will never know has affected my life so much. Roll forward 24 hours and I am the house belonging to Little Miss Sunshine and for some strange reason I am watching a soap opera that normally I would never have given the time of day to. However this particular episode involves some one who was in the very first episode some 40 odd years ago. The guy is now in his seventies and is trying to write a book that encapsulates his life and all of his triumphs but mainly failures. He is stuck in the same house and the same road that he grew up in and has never managed to escape from it all.

There is absolutely nothing wrong in this if you are happy to die where you were born but he is not and I somehow felt a lot of empathy for this character. What if this happens to me? It appears that every one I know is leaving for sunnier climes and happier shores. The list is too long to even mention but here I am still in the same house I grew up in. In the grand scheme of things I am not struggling for food or shelter, I do not have to worry about famine or war and I live on a lot more than a dollar a day that many people in the third world, have to live on.

However something is amiss and I doubt that I will ever find out what it is. I only know that I do not want to be here but I don’t know where I want to be or what I want to do when I get there. The credit crunch, started by people I do not know, in a country I do not live in has affected me and all the plans I ever had. It is so frustrating to be bound by circumstances beyond your control. If I was massively in debt and had wasted opportunities then yes I could say that what ever fate befell me, it was my own fault. But this is not the case, I have stuck by the rules of the system in the belief that eventually I would be better off for having done so. In reality I am no better off than some one who has never worked and has claimed benefits through out their lives. They have nothing to lose and I do and I have. The state will pick them up dust them down and ensure that they do not lose out.  The state cares nothing for me and millions like me, we are merely tax payers or cash cows to be milked until we have no further use and then discarded and castigated for daring to complain and voice our opinions.

My friends who have managed to escape agree with me and that is why they will never come back to the UK and most of those I know, if they have not made arrangements to escape are planning to.  Still living on more than a dollar a day, knowing the water is safe to drink and that tanks will not appear over the horizon any minute now must be a blessing and for that I should be grateful.