Fast forward a few days and it appeared as though the world was on tenterhooks awaiting the outcome of the most powerful man in the world, the incoming president of America. He is the first black man to become the new resident in chief of the Whitehouse, Barrack Oboma. This was followed the next evening by our very own tradition of Bonfire night in which we Brits celebrate the failed attempt to blow up the houses of parliament in 1605. Who knows what the world would have looked like if Guy Fawkes and his co-conspirators had of succeeded. However the Ghastanbury posse celebrated in style with an enormous bonfire and enough fireworks and explosives to start a small war in Central America and of course heaps of food and the odd beer or two. Congratulations to RM and his other half for a fantastic spread.

The Driver came to see me on Saturday gone and he stayed for a couple of nights while we put the world to rights. That brings me up to today which as we all know is the anniversary of the end of the Great War. There are only three men left alive in the UK that fought in that terrible conflict. Who knows how much longer we will be fortunate enough to have their company as living reminders of mans inhumanity to man and the ultimate triumph of good over evil?

Whilst watching the commemorations on TV I started thinking about world events today and the similarities with 96 years ago, two years before the start of World War 1. Europe was in the grip of a financial meltdown with right wing parties across Europe vying for power and the arms race that ensued allowing countries to take part in the war. It is not hard to see the comparisons with the 1930’s. Financial meltdown, particularly bad in Germany due to the terms of the Versai treaty, the rise of the far right in Europe, Franco, Hitler, Mussolini and mass production of ordnance and armaments in Germany.

Now let us stop for a moment and look at early years of the 21^st century. Worlwide financial meltdown, an insurgence of the far right in Europe and whilst not yet a threat they are certainly growing. The comparisons are not favourable, but, with all we have learned from the last 100 years, they would not do it again would they?

This represents an absolutely monstrous profit but worse still is the fact that so many vendors had managed to obtain tickets at short notice at the expense of Joe Public. When will tickets be sold to the people that actually want to buy them and isn’t it about time that concert tickets, like airline tickets had to be purchased with some form of identity and that identity shown when entering the arena? Such a simple action would at a stroke stop profiteers from buying tickets they have no intention of using to sell on ebay or to unscrupulous touts who wish to make an obscene profit from honest fans. I have no problem with people making a profit from a commodity that supply far outstrips demand for but touts and tickets agencies are up there with solicitors and estate agents and I suppose these day’s bankers. Vultures with a human face!

There is almost a happy ending; I managed to acquire tickets in the end but not for any venue in this country. With tickets for the MEN going for £180 each it was cheaper to buy tickets for Paris with a night’s accommodation thrown in. The cost of the tickets for Paris? £179 each. It has taken some time to warm to the new Album from ACDC with the tour of  the same name but I am getting there. There is not one track that leaps out and grabs you with the same ferocity that “Whole lotta Rosie” did nor “Back in black” to name a few but the whole album is starting to grow on me. By the day of the concert I expect to know them word perfect.

Summer has finally bowed out and the clocks have gone back bringing short days and long nights. Sadly it has been accompanied by a dramatic drop in temperatures and for the first time in what seems like ages I have had to switch on my central heating. Naturally such actions have had me turning green with envy at the thought of friends far away in sunnier climes. Friends of over 20 years standing have recently moved to Spain to run a coffe bar in Camposol Spain. It is called the Costa Café and Tearoom and naturally it based in Camposol on the east cost of Southern Spain. As soon as I obtain more details I will post them here for any one who wants to pop in and try the menu. I wish them all the best and if you are in the area and passing, pop in and let the hard working staff behind the counter know Smokehouse sent you. The Traveller is now working in Oz and from the sounds of it may well obtain an extended work permit and perhaps a living permit. Will I ever see him again? Who knows but if our positions were reversed I would not be coming back!

The big news is that I am to become a great uncle. Well not exactly, but Little Miss Sunshine’s daughter is pregnant and as I am an honorary uncle to the daughter it follows I would a great uncle to granddaughter. I wish both mother and daughter the very best and all that they would wish for themselves. It never ceases to amaze me how many nephews and nieces I have. I seem to be the black sheep of the family, the one who is spoken about in whispered voices and never in front of the children! My extended family grows by the day.

Desperate times require desperate measures and the current economic situation has thrown what plans I had into complete disarray, so much so that I have taken to looking at alternative lifestyles and accommodation. With this in mind I have booked a short stay in a Yurt some time in the summer months of 2009. As well as being a break it will give me a chance to see if these dwellings live up to the reputation of the Mongols as being somewhere you can live in for years, completely waterproof and capable of withstanding temperatures of minus 35c whilst having a life span of 20 years or more.  In short a glamorous tent which has coined the phrase Glamping.

Roger Moor

A bit later I put him back in his bowl and brought him indoors and placed the bowl in front of the TV screen. Bean Counter poured a large gin into his bowl and I set up what I thought would be a really interesting film for him. Naturally it was Jaws. What could be better than relaxing on a Saturday night with a stiff drink and watching a blockbuster film? Then after the film was finished I offered him a slap up meal with a choice of a tin of sardines, a tin of salmon and some tinned shrimps. By now the little guy was feeling tired so we took him back into RM’s house and BC read him a bedtime story. What could be more fitting after his hectic day than listening to a chapter or two of Moby Dick?

The Traveller texted me on Saturday morning to say he has finally arrived in sunny Malaysia and is set to venture to Australia in the very near future. I wish him well, it would appear I have more friends and relatives over there than I do at home! The weather is finally turning and the leaves are falling off the trees. What has been good though is the fine weather we have had over the last couple of weeks. Sunday gone was an exceptional day and I used it to take Rhonda and BC for a spin. It’s just a pity that the good weather is five months late! Sunday evening came and we ventured to see The Beast and we ended up having a small bonfire in his garden. All in all it has been a great weekend, one that I won’t forget in a hurry and I am sure that the fish wont either. After all even fish have feelings.

Upon my return I decided to do something that has needed doing for many years. I ripped down my old back fence and gate replaced it with double gates and some new fencing. Sadly the fencing that divides my property from the home of Roger Moor is a joint fence and as soon as I removed the old rotting supports his fence and back gate literally fell over. With the help of The Beast and RM new concrete support posts and fencing were soon in place and after several coats of exterior wood paint both houses now look as though they have had a major make over. The best news is that I can take Rhonda out quite easily as when both gates are open the gap is now 5 feet and not 34 inches and Rhonda is 37 inches wide. I expect the Tiler will be quite pleased with the result when he sees the photos.

The economy has come crashing down and the news is almost exclusively full of reports that yet another bank somewhere around the world has gone into liquidation. This has left many savers worrying if they will have access to the money in these accounts. In the case of the Icelandic banks it is really serious. The assets of the country are worth less than the value of the money they owe. It is the first time that I have ever heard of a country going bankrupt. This news is not confined to any one country, continent or hemisphere and more than a few texts were exchanged in the early hours of this week between The Printer and me. Australia it seems is also in dire straits demonstrating how truly global this economic crisis is.

At least on person has managed to escape from it all and the Traveller departed for Indonesia, (it may actually be Malaysia but it has an sia at the end of it) yesterday to seek out dusky maidens and a better way of life. I hope it all comes off for him and I expect to see him briefly sometime in January before he departs for good and sets up home in the southern hemisphere. With so many people departing for sunnier or brighter economic climes it is a wonder that there is anyone left in the UK. At least Genghis and me will be here for another two years.

Genghis has taken to terrorising the rabbits in Ogri and Bodiceas’ garden. Each morning he goes to the rabbit hutch and tries to stick his paw through the wire grate. I personally believe he is merely trying to say hello and stroke the rabbits but other people tell me he has a hungry look on his face while he attempts this. Anyway he will be 12 months old in a few weeks and sadly it will be time to take him to the vets for THAT op. The mere thought of it makes my eyes water! At any rate it is nice to be back and posting again.

We set off to the local Tescos and arrived back at Château Ghastanbury with 10 different types of cider and decided to record our comments about each one. So we sat down watching Nigella Lawson give us tips on cooking and drooled while faced with 12 different types of cider.

Here is our written commentary on those we tested.

1)    Bulmer’s original, 4.5%. Smelt wonderful, sweet taste very appley would buy again.

2)    Dry Blackthorn 5.5%. Smelt like gas mains, very sour chemically taste would not buy again.

3)    Frome valley 6% No chemical smell, flat, no alcoholic aftertaste. Refreshing on the palate, appley aftertaste. Very smooth but flat and expensive. Would not buy again

4)    Savanna 5.5% South African cider with a very fizzy head and a good nose. Not unpleasant but no cider taste and very sugary. Would not buy again.

It has to be noted that at this point our descriptions were becoming more flowery and we slipped effortlessly into Jilly Goulden mode.

5)    Aspinalls 7% English apples but from a French family based in Suffolk. Smelt of pears with almost a pear taste (perhaps it was Perry and labelled incorrectly?) Very smooth with a fizz that disappeared rapidly. Barrel matured which you could taste and almost no CO2. We reckoned it was best served at room temperature because it almost tasted like a wine. We would possibly buy this one again.

6)    Tesco’s finest oak conditioned.6.6% Light appley smell, sharp and very dry. Definitely oak conditioned. ( we had to spit the splinters out) This was more of a dining cider and best drank with food

7)    Henry Westons special vintage reserve 8.5% Nose was very appley with over tones of wood, flat but smooth and strong. Distinct appley aftertaste. We would both buy this again.

NB by now we had really got into the swing of things and were starting to take this really seriously with as much verve and endeavour as the scientists at the particle collider in Cern

Oakley’s original 4.5% Nose was very appley with a hint of chemicals. Nice colour and a very nice taste that was sweet with no unpleasant aftertaste. Not too gassy and 2^nd so far to the Bulmer’s. We would definitely buy this one again

9) Gaymers 4.5% A very appley nose, which was sweet to taste and not too gassy. Tasted of apples and it was nectar in a glass. Almost as good as Bulmer’s. Would definitely buy again

10) Thatcher’s vintage 7.4% Nose was very appley. Medium dry and very smooth with no horrible aftertaste. Not too gassy and neither sweet nor bitter. We would buy this again.

NB After can no 10 each we were becoming completely shitfaced and having a wonderful time.

11) Thatchers katy 7.4%. Wonderful and we are too pissed to pass any criticism save for my comment of I could live on this stuff and RM’s comment of sex in a glass without having to stimulate a clit for 30 minutes. Would definitely buy this again.

12) Merrydown vintage 7.5% Nose very appley with a chemical taste. RM said it had smelt like Blackthorns but tasted closer to the Bulmer’s. We would both buy this again but only under duress. In fact this one divided the two of us so much we each had another can to confirm our original judgement on it however we still failed to agree.

With our entire stock depleted, I realised I had lost the pen and could not be bothered scrabbling about on the floor to find it again. RM staggered home and I crawled to bed. In hindsight we have come to realise that the strength of cider has no bearing upon its’ taste and while for most people this was just an excuse for a piss up to us it was all in the interest of science.

After

One of the best things about this year’s event was the fact there were very few burgers and sausages, the standard British Barbie affair. This year was all about large cuts of meat and obviously influenced by Ted’s travels throughout South America. The large cuts of beef were rubbed with rock salt and nothing else. The rolled pork was marinated in cider vinegar over night with some herbs and the lamb was covered in mustard and mint leaves and some spices. The Ribs were covered in a sticky sweet Kansas sauce.

A lot of planning and months of preparation go into Tedstock and this year the guy worked his socks off. Respect and admiration goes to the man for all the hard work he put into the event to say nothing about the cost of it all. With both Ted and myself on the grill and with a beer in hand I was in my element and all too soon it was dark and time to light the bonfire that accompanies this annual event.

The bonfire this year was not on the scale of the previous years but it was big enough. Big enough in fact to scorch the overhanging branches underneath the fire. Obviously something had to be done before the need to call out the fire brigade arose. There really was only one thing to be done and a bow saw appeared as if by magic and some of the younger and fitter blades sat around the camp fire took it in turns to saw through the dangerous branches and put them somewhere safe.

It soon transpired that the safest place to put them was actually on the fire and now there was nothing above to scorch, it was really the safest option. As far as I am concerned this was one of the best Tedstock’s I have attended and the event was over all too soon. With no camp site this year due to the bad weather I climbed into a taxi with Beancounter some time in the early hours and made my way home. I am convinced that TM and me could do this for a living but not in the UK. We do not have the weather or the mentality for it however it may be possible somewhere with sunnier climes. Until then, respect to TM he is the man.

I

Bean Counter, the Traveller and myself went along to see it on Saturday gone. I have to say it was a masterpiece of engineering and spectacle. Despite having to wait for hours and being crushed by the hordes it was well and truly worth going to see. In fact it was so good we went again on Sunday to bid it farewell. The Traveller dropped us off at the Birkenhead Tunnel entrance on the Liverpool side on his way home from yet another drunken weekend that has become the hallmark of many of his visits.

We arrived at the spot we had chosen at around 5-30PM and we waited. We were still waiting at 6-30pm and we waited some more until 7-30pm and then we waited again. By this time the crowd were getting restless as spots to view the creature were becoming all too scarce and some of the kids were restless. Shouts of “Mum, when’s it coming, and I want to go the toilet” rang around the little haven BC and myself had chosen. At 8-30 ish the band that preceded the spider appeared in the distance and we knew it would not be long before it took its’ final bow.

When it finally appeared after a long tour through the city streets that must have been every coppers nightmare, a huge cheer went up from amongst the 250,000 plus people that had gathered there. There were fireworks, pyrotechnics, Water displays a snowstorm and plus the orchestra that had assembled to provide the almost eerie music that accompanied its’ tour of the city. BC and myself left at 10pm which had meant we had been standing in the same spot for some 5 hours and my legs were aching, but I felt that it had all been worth it.

Words cannot do the creature justice. I can only hope that the photographs in the Gallery will make up for my lack of writing skills. The city could have put on a concert or spectacular laser show but that has all been done before. I have never seen anything like this and it made the whole event of European Capital of Culture stand out from anything I have ever seen before. It is not often I praise the big city but I applaud this event and I will never forget the spectacle. It has certainly cured my Arachnophobia.

Friday

As RM arrived across the small river that was once my driveway; all three of us stared out at the darkening skies and the rising water and unanimously decided we needed inspiration and divine intervention. I donned wellies and waded out to the beer shed for the inspiration and we waited for the divine intervention. The divine intervention was taking its’ time arriving and so after much inspiration RM and me decided to try and brush as much water into the road as we could. I took to ramming sticks into the drains to see if I could reduce any blockages which did no good at all.

After a full case of inspiration, divine intervention duly arrived and not a moment too soon. The water was almost to the top of the outside shed floor when one of the drains gurgled, belched and then decided to start taking water. RM and me shoved water towards the drain as fast as we could while TT opened beers for us at an alarming rate. By the time the water was at a safe level the three of us were pissed, well I was at least and the other two were not far behind.

Beancounter arrived almost as soon as the driveway was cleared and while she did not need water wings to get into the house, events had started to go downhill fast. Two cases of inspiration rapidly disappeared and the spirits came out to keep our spirits up. The radiator was full of wet socks the floor was covered in mud and the chip pan was heating up nicely. It wasn’t exactly the Dunkirk spirit but it showed you can have an eventful evening with wet socks and good friends

One

The weather dictated that this should be an impromptu event and as such there were no particular culinary masterpieces save for some extremely hot meat loaf which his friends assured me that they could handle without being hospitalised. Lots of chilli sauce, peppers and some raw chilli from my very own greenhouse were added to the mix and I stood back and admired the way in which straight faces were kept as one by one macho young blades stepped up to grab a plateful.

An eventful evening ended with much beer drinking lots of smoke. Photos of the evening can be found here. Cheers Johan.