I am still chuckling about it

Spring is almost here, well it is if you listen to the Met office but officially spring starts on the vernal equinox which this year happens to fall on March 20th. The Met office which likes to keep dates in simple order decided that spring started on March 1st but as lunar or astronomy records have been going for far longer than the Met office, I like to use the old system. No matter I digress, the weather is warming up and hopefully I will soon be out in the garden and attending to all those jobs that require seasonal attendance. Work on the outside of the house should recommence as well.

I recently discovered my garden shed was becoming damp. The problem was traced to rain water falling off the roof and onto the brickwork. A simple solution seemed to place guttering around the edges of the roof to divert water away. All well and good, but the guttering needs to be placed on a fascia board that has to be screwed to the brickwork first. Not a big problem but the walls have to be pointed before the woodwork goes up. Again this is not a huge imposition but it does require warm weather to stop the pointing from freezing and dropping out. However before any of this can take place the roof itself needs sealing with a bitumen like substance and that does require warm weather. A relatively simple job with a simple solution has now turned into a large multi part task that can only be completed when the elements allow. Roll on spring!

It all seems a far cry from last years Halloween and bonfire night; the weather was crisp and the company fantastic. All of the usual suspects turned out in fancy dress for the Halloween party in the grounds of Chateau Ghastanbury. Most of it is a bit of a blur as I was on medication for pain relief and I had been out of hospital for a mere few days, but the photos show I had a good time on both nights and I was well looked after by everyone who turned up. A big thanks to everyone who went to the effort of dressing up and the evening resembled something from a hammer house of horrors film set and the cast of the rocky horror show.

That show reminds me of the time at Christmas just gone when I became an inadvertent cross dresser. Bean Counter had bought me some silk underwear for travelling as the properties of silk make riding a bike for long distances far more comfortable and much more practical than cotton. As I came down the stairs a couple of days after Xmas clutching a small pile of laundry for the washing machine BC asked me why I had her knickers in my hands. I asked her what she meant and she said I had her knickers with my pile of laundry. Looking down all I could see was a pair of black silk underpants along with some socks. Apparently the underpants were knickers right down to the frilly lacing around the edges and they were not mine. It would appear I had picked up the first set of underwear from the clean pile I came across that was clean, about my size, the right colour and looked vaguely like my own. Hopefully I won’t get her stockings and my socks mixed up or I will be auditioning for the part of Dr Frank-n-Furter.

To keep me on the straight and narrow I gave up alcohol for lent after having a final blow out on Shrove Tuesday. Roger Moore, Sophia Loren, her mum and BC were in attendance. It all started swimmingly and then the non stick frying pan decided to stick. Pancakes that should have flipped did not. I made the decision that as the frying would not work for me then it must personal and I would make sure it would never cock a snook at anyone ever again. After a few beers I took the pan into the garden and flattened it with a very large hammer. There is something completely satisfying in destroying something that refuses to do what you want it to do. I still hark back to my period of technic cleansing when my PS3 ended up in the garden pond. Expensive? Yes. Satisfying? Completely and I am still chuckling about it.


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